It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via extrasad)

(via emuuuuhleekate)


21 hours ago // 39,215 notes
  • Rest of the World: Kilometers
  • America: No
  • Rest of the World: Celsius
  • America: No
  • Rest of the World: Daylight savings was last week
  • America: NO
  • Rest of the World: day month year
  • America: No

22 hours ago // 297,843 notes
digitalmovie:


this is me about 98 percent of the time.

grumpypup:

do you ever have those friends you just REALLY FUCKING appreciate. like god DAMN i really fucking apprecIATE YOU. thank you for fucking existing. thanks for fucking finding me worthy of you. i usually words like frick but you just make me go FUCK. FUck fuck thank you

(via sagihairius)


2 days ago // 276,192 notes

sovietunions:

one thing i never do is write a rough draft it’s all or nothing go big or go home

(via honeychipotlechickencrispers)


2 days ago // 376,429 notes

radboysehun:

im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt

(via hi)


3 days ago // 53,112 notes

saddeer:

zkac:

what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

i hate this i hate u 

(via emuuuuhleekate)


3 days ago // 138,593 notes
normasjeanes:

John F. Kennedy, 1937.